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Monday, October 12, 2009

Rant: I have to get something off my chest....

I am an avid reader of The New York Times. Mostly I try to inform myself on the world news from them and keep up on some politics. I am not the most informed person, but feel as though I am not a misinformed one. Today there was a topic of discussion regarding the loss being felt in families involved in IVF and other forms of Infertility treatment. First off, I must say that I will not voice my direct opinions here regarding Infertility, Reductions, Abortion, or other strongly viewed topics. It is not the place for that. What I do want to mention is that in reading the article a family was mentioned and along with the name of the family was the announcement that they have a blog. Through a form of infertility treatments this family found themselves with 6 formed fetuses. The doctors recommendation was to reduce the numbers of fetuses through selective reduction and allow a more probable full term for those selected to remain. Now again, I am not stating this to debate here any of the many debatable issues raised, I am sincere in that. The family lost 3 of their 6 children after preterm labor. Had the funeral for these children, and then found themselves on the NYT. They lost yet another child yesterday and so the debate began....sadly it began on the blog of the mothers announcement that she shared with her readers that little Ashlyn had lost her fight with Yeast Pneumonia.

Here is my angst. I feel so disgusted with people that find it is an appropriate place to make statements of "look what you've done" and "this is all your fault" and "Are you happy now" or "you just want to be on Reality TV". The Stansel family is grieving for their four young children and I find it appauling that this is the moment someone feels inclined to throw their grief in their faces. Of course ALL of the negative comments came anonymously with no allowable way of responding to them. This I feel makes for cowardice actions. If you can so proudly speak your views then why hide them from the public on who is saying them?

Why do people feel as though through anonymoty it is okay to voice inappropriate comments to anyone. What if this were your own family, your friends or yourself.

Regardless of my own views I stopped by to give the family my condollences as they grieve a great loss. There is no question that this family loved these children. They were not specimens to them with letter designations of Baby "A" "B" "C"....and so on. They had names, hearts, a family, a mother, father and siblings.

In Blog land, I think it would be nice to realize that there should still be respect for each other, each others views, and realize that this still falls under social protocol. You don't have to agree with those that you pass, but that doesn't mean "free for all" to tear them to the smallest pieces. Arguments can be made intelligently and with great respect for others. If you wouldn't say it directly to someone face to face, then don't say it at all.

Thats my Rant,
Sorry if I offended anyone, I just needed to get this off my chest.


Chad Sayban said...

I completely agree with you. That's why I long ago stopped allowing anonymous posts on my blog. Frankly, if you are not proud enough to take credit or responsibility of a comment in your own name, you probably shouldn't be making it in the first place.

Great post!

blueviolet said...

People are so much more free to say things on the internet without their face and name than they would be in real life. I don't even allow anonymous comments.

Martha said...

I agree with you completely and applaud you! Thanks for this post, should be required reading for all internet trolls.

The Rambler said...

Mucho agree with you sis!!

I'll never understand the cowards that hide behind the anonymous name.

I love ya.

RT said...

Kalei- you are such a beautiful person inside and out. :)